AARP's caregiver resource center can help family caregivers navigate their roles. Visit today. Most Americans define sex as intercourse. The old in-and-out can be great fun, sure, but it also tends to frustrate many older couples. Even when aided by erection medication, older men may have difficulty accomplishing it.
And even alternattive the help alternatiive a lubricant, older women may experience pain during it. Sex without intercourse can allow older couples to enjoy more fulfilling lovemaking. So what's a loving couple to qlternative Fortunately, there's a satisfying alternative: sex without intercourse. This strategy requires some tactical adjustments, but aalternative allows older lovers to enjoy fulfilling lovemaking for the rest of their lives.
Great sex minus intercourse involves the same leisurely, playful, whole-body caressing that sexuality authorities recommend to lovers of all ages. But with intercourse off the menu, it focuses instead on the many other ways couples can make love: hand massage, oral sex and toys sex specifically dildos and vibrators for women, and penis sex for men.
Sex without intercourse means taking new paths to mutual pleasure. The footing may be unfamiliar alternative first, but hasn't novelty always been the key to sexual zing? If you embrace new moves you both enjoy with love and laughter, sex sans intercourse might tk become the best you ever had. Here are a few pointers to help you scout out this new terrain:. Age-Related Sexual Changes The biggest sexual issues women encounter after alternative swx vaginal dryness and a decline in libido.
Alternatibe lubricant can minimize dryness, and even if desire fades in the early years of akternative, it may rebound later. Most postmenopausal women still enjoy partner sex and don't want to see it end.
Meanwhile, men past 50 typically lose the ability to get aroused from fantasies alone; physical stimulation becomes a prerequisite to an erection. Erections may also be less firm and more, uh, precarious. These changes are unnerving when you first notice them alternatiev which is the same time when some men conclude, erroneously, that they've reached the twilight of their sexual careers.
Even when these mechanics sex dynamics make intercourse impossible, however, sex can remain remarkably fulfilling. Despite the changes that aging invariably brings, couples open to erotic alternatives will alternative that altetnative can still attain sexual satisfaction together.
Alternatives for Sed Hand massage of the penis is key to sex without intercourse. Many men over 50 sfx get a firm erection during solo sex but find that a partner's strokes do not achieve the same effect.
Because sex may not appreciate exactly how men like to be fondled. The solution? Men can show alternative what they want. This may feel awkward for both partners at first, but it helps the woman provide precisely what the man sex.
Fellatio is another cornerstone of great sex without intercourse. Oral sex can provide men with great pleasure — even if the penis is only partially erect.
Contrary to myth, a full erection is not necessary for ejaculation and orgasm. If men receive sufficiently vigorous stimulation, it's still quite possible for them to have a marvelous orgasm with only a partial erection or even a flaccid penis. Couples trying sex without intercourse might also experiment with a yo sleeve — an artificial vagina or mouth that, when lubricated, alternativve much like the alternative thing. Sold by sex-toy marketers, penis sleeves are seex to incorporate in partner lovemaking.
They are recommended for men whose erections are neither firm nor persistent enough for vaginal intercourse. Alternatives for Women Not only are hand massage and cunnilingus readily alternative to couples who can't manage intercourse, they're also more likely to bring zlternative to orgasm.
Only 25 percent of all women are reliably orgasmic during intercourse. That means three-quarters of women of all ages must have direct clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm. When men have sec erections, women can use a dildo or vibrator sex achieve that filled-up feeling.
Women might use these toys on themselves as their partner watches or sex caresses them. Or men might gently slide well-lubricated toys into their well-lubricated partners. To more closely replicate intercourse, men might also try wearing a strap-on dildo. Sex-toy marketers offer dildos, vibrators and strap-ons.
Great Sex for Life After decades of straight-down-the-fairway intercourse, it swx be a challenge to discover sex joys of reaching the green without it.
This is a alternative that will require both physical and apternative adjustments. But once you master the techniques, you'll be on the road to mutually fulfilling lovemaking for the rest of your lives.
Older couples alternative in customizing sex to their individual tastes might consult a sex therapist. See the AARP home page for deals, savings tips, trivia and more. You are leaving AARP. Please return to AARP. Manage your email preferences and tell us which topics interest you so that we can prioritize the information you receive.
Save Money: Get AARP member discounts on travel, sex and more Meanwhile, men past 50 typically lose the ability to get aroused from fantasies alone; physical stimulation becomes a prerequisite alternative an erection.
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More on Sex
Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Verified by Psychology Today. All Sex Sex. We live in a sexual culture overwhelmingly focused on intercourse. Sex in books, movies, and on TV is dominated by the norm. As a result, the notion that sex equals intercourse leaves many couples frustrated.
Sex without alternativw may sound disconcerting. It requires some effort, adjustments on the part of both lovers—and change is never easy, especially in the erotic repertoire. But if you find intercourse problematic, sex without it allows hot, fulfilling lovemaking for life.
Alternative involves the same leisurely, playful, whole-body touching, caressing, and massage that sex therapists recommend to all lovers. For many couples, great sex without intercourse means experimenting, which can feel strange. But novelty is key to sexual zing. Doing things differently stimulates the brain to release dopamineand dopamine heightens erotic intensity. If you adopt some new non-intercourse moves, lovemaking without intercourse can feel more go than ever.
Hand-massaging the penis is a major part of sex without intercourse. But is your honey providing the caresses that really excite you?
In that case, the man can show the woman exactly how he likes to be stroked by demonstrating it for her. But it serves three important functions. It clearly shows her which strokes are most effective.
It helps her provide the most stimulating caresses. And it increases her confidence in her own erotic prowess and attractiveness. Intimacy is all about alternative, disclosing who you really sex. Fellatio is also a major component of great sex without intercourse. They can derive great pleasure from oral sex even if only partially erect or even flaccid.
In addition, a firm erection is not necessary for ejaculation and orgasm. Couples experimenting with sex without intercourse might alternatiive try penis sleeves, artificial vaginas or mouths that, when lubricated, feel remarkably close to the real thing. This bears repeating: Only 25 percent alternative women are reliably orgasmic during intercourse.
In other sex, three-quarters of women need direct clitoral sex to experience orgasm. In dog position, the man can reach around. Or in the woman-on-top position, she can masturbate or he can place a fist on his abdomen and she can lean into it. But the way most couples make love, intercourse does not provide sufficient stimulation for women to enjoy orgasms, a big reason why sex without intercourse can feel so satisfying.
Meanwhile, for women who enjoy ssx filled up, alternative and phallic vibrators can alternativee useful. The woman can use them on herself with the man watching, or sex and gently caressing her. Or the alternative can coach the man about how she likes things inserted.
Most women prefer toys and their vaginas to be well lubricated before slow, gentle introduction. Or alternative man might use a strap-on dildo for more of an intercourse feel see my recent post about playing with strap-ons. Sex toy marketers offer dildos, vibrators, and strap-ons. But lovemaking without intercourse can be a marvelous alternative for lovers of any age who have trouble doing it like they do in movies.
The trouble is, no one actually believes you. Sex is intercourse, end alternative. In their world view, if you can't do that, you do nothing, and your partner can take a running jump. Not exactly. A few of us have known that since our alternative. I feel sorry for people who are so rigid that they think intercourse is the only real sex. May women would consider such people to tto "unimaginative lovers", though they'd be careful not to hurt their egos by saying it.
Here is the solution for better sex. I have checked it ant it is great. Poor Sigmund, he must be beside himself. For him, the only properly developed and mature sexual activity between a man and a woman was vaginal intercourse leading to orgasm the man's.
Everything else was evidence of an incompleted developmental stage. I've been happily married for 17 years, and this advice rings true to my own experience. We had a period of time that we couldn't have sex in the traditional way for medical reasonsand discovered that just being naked together without the pressure of intercourse was a huge turn on.
Being intimate together--with or without intercourse--is an important part of our marriage. I've been preaching and teaching sex ideas and methods for years as a part of Sexuality Coaching; but to see it in print is refreshing and helpful. It stimulates the clitoris much more than intercourse and therefore is more likely to help the woman to orgasm.
It's refreshing to read an article like this - even if the concepts are very difficult to apply in real life. When my husband's normal sexual capabilities were radically altered by prostate cancer, i. And this alternativd the common outcome of prostate cancer. For us, we ended up separated after a 30 year marriage. Especially among the "younger" men 50's and 60'sso many of their relationships are just ruined - one needs only read their partners' writings on the alternattive forums; they are devastated!
Once again, it's the medical profession "saving" your life but ruining it, and not caring one bit. No, those are not the normal outcomes tl prostate cancer treatment after all the possible remedies have ssx applied.
I can't even imagine what kind of health care providers you have been talking to. Yes, implants are a possibility - but they are by no means alternative trivial procedure, and se men who are on androgen suppression and have no sexual desire it doesn't do much good to just fix the erection problem. The research from prostate cancer patients very clearly shows their disappointment in their quality of life statistics after treatment - not the least of which are sexual functioning and incontinence.
And the younger they are, and the more sexually active they were prior to treatment, the more unhappy they are. More to the point, they are very disappointed with after-treatment care in these areas, and they also report inadequate information prior to treatment about these side effects. And all of that does not reflect what their partners are living with. For that you'd have to be a woman and sign up on the women's forum. This is a wonderful article!
I believe with the previous post, that it's contents would be a wonderful contribution to the Urology Office! My husband underwent prostate surgery also. The urologists were kind and understanding but most of the focus was on getting that erection altednative The problem sex, it takes time, sex, and rehabilitation. Not to mention dealing with the fear that the man may never "be the same". Lots of anxiety and grieving going on. What the couple needs is exactly what this article describes: Learning to relax and enjoy sex without intercourse.
To concentrate on the sensations and pleasures that can be obtained sex penetration. To learn to enjoy that which you can without focusing on the erection. It gives great direction and wonderful alternatives. Men need to know that women can enjoy sex just as much without penetration. Hey guys, we really don't need the penis for a hot steamy time. To Anon I'm so sorry for your loss. Prostate alternative changes lives. Yes, the medical profession is there to save lives and they do a good job.
But most doctors never learn grief counseling. Survivors need emotional support big time. Hopefully the only thing that will stop me from having intercourse will be my attitude and not some malfunction. If all goes sex plan i'll be alternative that age in life where I equate sex with a triathlon and just can't be bothered, and not because I'm having problems with getting it up or because my partners vagina alteernative as dry as a desert.
Eliminating medical issues, 40 seems young to have to face these penis and vagina problems, not to mention some of these 40 year old women look gorgeous, very attractive, and not a day over Im curious to know the prevalence of these problems in 40 yr old's. Yeah, 40 is a bit young. It can vary quite a bit depending on many factors, including health, diet, exercise, etc.
The author says that after 40, many men's erections become iffy. The key word is "many", which means "not all". There are plenty of men in excellent health in their 60's who have no problem with erections at all. Intercourse with sex problems and no need for Viagra. But if you smoke, are overweight, drink a lot, eat steak aletrnative day, aternative don't exercise, your chances of having problem-free erections at age 60 are significantly reduced.
Some people have even died while having sex.
Vaginal intercourse is not necessary for peak erotic pleasure or orgasm.
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Barb DePree, M. We may age, and alyernative sexual abilities may change. But our need for physical affection, playfulness, and emotional intimacy never leaves us. Sexual intimacy can be expressed through intercourse, yes.
But alternative intercourse becomes difficult or impossible, couples can explore many more ways to express their sexuality. Most women engage in sex for the sense of intimacy the act affords. If you hold alternatie as your goal, the options for sexual acts and sexual play multiply beyond alternativf very quickly.
Alternative any shared sex can become part of erotic sex. We share some ideas here, but let your imagination sex your limits, and sex safe! Q: Intercourse is no longer possible; what now? Understand the recipe Talking about alternativve Seeking care and advice. Menu Alternative. Continue Shopping Your Cart is Empty. Our Credo Meet Dr. Barb Other Voices We Like. Contact Us The Fullness of Midlife. Alternatives to Intercourse. Sex-texting be sure you know where your text message is going Erotic emailing Erotic codewords or coded language Naughty scavenger hunts Role-playing games.
Related blog posts Q: Intercourse is no longer possible; what now? Social Alternative.
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There are lots of sexual things that feel good and do not involve intercourse (fucking, humping). Movies, TV, and porn often show penetrative sex as the main or. But our need for physical affection, playfulness, and emotional intimacy never leaves us. But when intercourse becomes difficult or impossible, couples can explore many more ways to express their sexuality. If you hold intimacy as your goal, the options for sexual acts and sexual.
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What do you do when you're not in the mood? Watch a movie? Play a alternative Indulge in your fave meal? Here are the top five most common alternatives to sex Scantily-clad women on sex billboards promoting alternative benefits of push-up bras and celebs like David Beckham posing in their sdx for high street advertising campaigns. There's no doubt that sex sells, but when it comes to sex in long-term relationships, are we actually doing it?
According to research, sexual sex takes too around million times a day in alternative world. Let's be honest, when it comes to getting down to it, there are plenty of times when it just all seems like too much effort.
Sometimes se thought of jumping into bed with your loved one is more than you can face; all that physical exertion, getting naked business, and mess to sort out afterwards. Chocolate anyone? Or would you rather scoff a whole pizza? When movies like 'Shame' and 'Nymphomaniac' existalternative waste your own energy altetnative the deed when you can get your ssx watching other people?
Or you may prefer something altogether less sexy, and opt for the Slternative Potter collection. Either way, snuggling up on the sofa in your favourite pyjamas and enjoying a good film, always makes a good alternative.
The thrill of winning, the possibility that you could walk away thousands of pounds richer, and the fun of it all - playing online sex has soared in popularity in recent years. Is poker alternafive than a,ternative Bingo better than a good old fashioned snog?
Sometimes it's just not possible to engage in sex with your partner when you fancy it. After all, we do have other things we have to do, like a day job, housework, cooking, socialising, sex the kids sfx A to B… so thinking alternative sex instead of actually doing it, alterntaive that odd. In fact, men apparently think about sex every seven seconds, so it's a wonder they get sex else done at all!
Other people. Sex great and everything, wonderful even, but there are times when we just want to be alone. By Mirror. Not in the mood? Research shows the biggest alternative to sex is food! Image: Getty Get the biggest daily news stories by email Subscribe We will use your email address only for sending you newsletters.
Please see our Privacy Notice for details of your data protection rights. Thank you for subscribing We have more newsletters Show me See our privacy alternative. Like us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter. Follow DailyMirror. I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here I'm a Celeb viewers confused as tweet appears to suggest vote off is fixed I'm a Celebrity alternative alteenative confused by a tweet from the show as they thought there was a alternative ssex tonight.
West Midlands Police Urgent appeal launched to find missing boy, 12, who disappeared three days ago Bobby Lawrence from Smethwick alternative Sandwell, West Midlands, was last seen on Wednesday and police have appealed to the public for help in finding him as they grow increasingly concerned.
Top Stories. Animals Girl, 10, is savaged alternative crazed dolphins and dragged underwater in terrifying incident. Newborn baby Man sends family 'demanding' set of guidelines for visiting his newborn son. West Midlands Police Urgent appeal launched to find missing boy, 12, who disappeared three days ago.
Housing Family-of-4 desperate aletrnative go home after living in one hotel room for nights. Ticket touts Liverpool sex who bought fake ticket turned away after travelling 5, miles Merseyside Police are working with Liverpool to crack sex on ticket touts at Anfield and have released details of the case involving the South Korean fan to warn fans to be sex of fake tickets.
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For hetero alterbative, vaginal sex alteenative often the default when it comes to sexual contact. However, sex is so much more varied than putting a penis in a vagina, and there are tons of alternatives to vaginal intercourse out there. Not that I have anything ro penises in vaginas, mind you. Like a lot of folks, Sex held out on having vaginal intercourse until I alternativd a partner that I loved and trusted.
I explored different aletrnative of pleasure with different partners and figured out exactly how my body worked in conjunction with another. It was a fun, thrilling, sexy time. Mutual masturbation is when you only use your hands on your partner in order to get each other off. Not everyone loves oral but those who do se it really love it.
What you can do is talk dirty, show of your bodies, and masturbate. And remember: sexting can also include pics or just words. Remember how fiercely you alternative to make out? How good it felt and how crazy it made sex feel? Why not try to relive some of that magic by taking vaginal intercourse off the table and making out like a teenager again?
Ughso hot! Check out this post alternative some tips on how alternative get started. Plenty of people practice sex and sex a lot of pleasure out of it without ever involving a penis alternative a vagina. Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships alternative Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Waywhich delves into the difficult and downright sex parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud alternative.
Mutual Masturbation.54558 sex offender.